What makes you mature?

Are you selfish or immature? Or do you think you are well educated and mature?

It does not matter if you are younger or older when it comes to the degree of maturity you have. Some adults are not really mature in my opinion, whereas some young people are smart and know what to do to deal with their lives. I strongly believe that being mature is really important in our lives . It does not matter if you have a job or career or something, it does not necessarily make you a grown-up man.

I was in a bathroom on a bullet train and did not know how to lock the door, so I asked a guy who seemed to be 50- something randomly,

“Hey, would you mind if I ask you to tell me how to lock this door?”

He gave me a glance without saying anything. What is this? I can not understand what those who do not say anything think in their heads. At least he could have said,

“I don’t know or I don’t have time to tell you how.”

I have been told how to behave respectfully to others since I was just a kid, and I would definitely have said something like that if I had been asked back then.

Those older people who have been living in society for a long time do not even know how to deal with these situations.

Yes, life is not always fair. Life is tough and fun. You do not know what is lurking around the corner, therefore you have to prepare for the unfairness. You have to be strong and mature enough to deal with troublesome situations.

What are the differences between mature and immature people?


Immature

  1. You do not have time to think and care about others because you put yourself first in any situation

If you think you are really modest and thoughtful to others, you do not conduct something that hurts others’ feelings. I know human beings are not perfect and never will be, but at least they can try their best to begin with. This is applicable to any situation, not only in the workplace but also relations with your friends and people close to you. I will mention this later, but everything in your life is all about trust with others; if you cannot not build that trust, you are done in this world.

  1. You do not think about consequences your choice will bring down the road

This is critical as long as you live in this human society where everything you do gives you responsibilities. Some people do things in the spur of the moment and live their lives following their hearts all the time. I am not saying that you have to pretend to be nice and predict what is going to happen to you at any given moment, but I am saying that you have to be aware of the consequences your choice will potentially produce. And please do not lie to people. Be honest always. If you lie and are dishonest to others, you will absolutely have no choice but to put yourself at the corner of the room in the end where you can not move anywhere. If you lie, you will be covered up with lies all over your body and soul which leads you to feeling sorry for yourself  later. So be careful with every choice you make from now on. Be cautious.

  1. You judge people by their age, appearance, ethnicity and background

As I said, it does not matter if you are younger or older. When it comes to the degree of maturity, it is all about how well you can care about others along with yourself at the same time. I never judge people until I talk to them face to face. Only after a long time knowing them is when I start judging them. I have been talking to wide ranges of people in terms of education, ethnicity and age. It is always true that I look up to those who are “NICE and KIND” and don’t judge others.

  1. You don’t think ahead and say things unnecessarily in the heat of moment 

Everyone has experienced this at least once. You say something you do not really mean, and regret  what you have said later on. It happened to me when I was a kid to my friends and parents, but as you get older, you start appreciating what you have now. Of curse it doesn’t get easier overnight to control  yourself and your emotions in the heat of the moment, but let’s just step back and take a look at the big picture and think in the long run before you say something. It takes much effort and time to learn how to deal with these situation.

  1. You kick yourself all the time and do not take any actions to make it better 

Some people who have people skills really do not kick themselves all the time. They know themselves well and know how to get across their points efficiently to others. Everything they say they are sure enough that is exactly what they want to tell to people, plus they are aware of pros and cons of it. They are following their hearts in a different way from those who are pretending to follow their hearts with a little bit of doubt in the back of their minds. They confirm that they can deal with both pros and cons of a stiuation, in other words, they are confidence in themselves. They can quickly answer those questions which might sound challenging and controversial. I am not mature enough yet , but at least I do have a consistent discipline in myself I have to follow, which gives me a clear idea of what to do and how to deal with people. When I kick myself, I always take an action to make it better and learn from it bit by bit.

  1. You go back on promises unreasonably 

Some are really faithful to their words and some are not. Some say “I will do this for you” and then say “I can not” without giving any reasons, leaving you choking in their dust. You will get confused and hurt just a little bit. If they keep doing this, they are done as a person. When you promise something, you have to make suere if it is really possible for you to do that beforehand. If you are not sure, you might want to say, “I can not do that because I am not sure about it” with some explanations of why you are not sure. Be honest always.

  1. You cannot bear being alone 

There is always time you feel lonely if you live on the surface of the earth as a human being. It is inevitable and it is also human nature. I have been feeling lonely as a matter of fact for a year. I always hope I have someone who will listen to me in the time of trouble, sitting side by side, but that does not happen always. Most of time I have to tell myself, “I can do this by myself”, ” If I do not do it, who else do it for me?” Burdens can just fall onto your shoulders and make it hard to breath when you do not have someone to talk to. However, those who have been through this experiences at least for 3 or 4 years as a total know how difficult it is and can develop sense of toughness. You can always be needy, and that is life.

  1. You have no consistency in your words 

You see people saying something and then later say something different and it makes you confused enough to dislike them. If you are the type of person who does not have consistency in your words, be careful when you interact with others, otherwise you will lose your credibility easily.  Imagine yourself having a friend who promised you to hang out at the park next weekend, but he/she then says something like “I am sorry I can not do that next weekend because I have to do my family stuff”, but you see him/her hanging out with other friends at the park next weekend. Yeah, it hurts you so badly right? So, do not be like that.

  1. You do not realize things you do to make you look bad (or do it deliberately)

Some kids say that they did not know what was right and wrong at that time when they had done whatever it was. It is alright and even a little cute, which makes you feel that you want to take care of them and teach them how-to-x, but if they are adults, it turns into a totally different story.

  1. You do things that destroy your trust with others 

I should have put this one on the top of this list since this is the main point of this article. It is okay to do whatever you want, no one is going to stop you from doing it, but it is not professional to easily destroy your trust with others. As long as you live in this society, everything here is working under the trust and bonds between you and people, in a nutshell, you must follow all the lists above. People can be cruel to those who care about them most. Think about your parents. When you are young, what did you say to them? Yeah, when you hit puberty, you sometimes could not control yourself. People always do this to others. We have to be careful about this.

 


What makes you mature?

I hate to break it to you, but to be mature, you should be able to handle all the things I named above; however, if you ask me to decide on one thing that clearly distinguishes those who are immature and mature, that is:

Forgiveness“.

Those who can forgive others are the ones who are mature.

Of course, it is not really easy. To forgive others means to let everything that has hurt you a lot go for good .

You cannot rub it in anymore.

You cannot even talk about it for the rest of your life to those who did bad to you.

You cannot ask all the details and reasons why they did it to you once you forgive them.

After the vary moment you forgive them, it is going to be the battle against yourself from then.

You have to deal with all the emotions inside of you, trying to let everything go.

Sometimes you have to pretend that you are doing fine and  act friendly in the process of rebuilding relations with others even though you are not still sure if you digested everything already.

It is one thing to forgive, but it is another thing to forget.

If you can do both of them at the same time, you are really mature.

It takes times, but at least if you can forgive others no matter what, people can tell that you are mature.

You can forgive because you are strong.

Be strong, boys and girls.

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