I’m your “X”

I am your “x”.

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Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash

I am your best friend. I am your friend. I am your enemy. I am your counselor. I am your protector. I am your safety net. I am your lover. I am your acquaintance. I am your toy. I am your desire.

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Photo by Lesly B. Juarez on Unsplash

I can make you feel safe. I can make you feel good about yourself. I can make you proud. I can make you feel wanted. I can make you feel distant. I can make you feel depressed. I can be your shoulder to cry on. I can make you use me. I can make you feel guilty. I can make you feel satisfied. I can make you feel anything.

I am told that I am the most genuine person people can become in this world. They tried to rip off my mask to see my true face, but I don’t let them.

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Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

There is no such a word as “unintentionally or unconsciously” in my dictionary. I am a planner and have well organized strategies in my head, computing everything way ahead of time. There is also no concept of “too late to realize,” because you will never realize until I tell you that you have been on my finger tip this whole time, which I won’t tell even if someone cuts my mouth and into my cheeks.

I will treat you in the way you want. I will smile at you when you need it the most. I can be your prince if that’s what you are asking. I can disappear out of your life leaving mystery.

I am a good person. I can be whatever you want me to be, and I will do so accordingly and most importantly, strategically. It almost feels that you wrap me around your little finger until you notice that you are dealing with not a just person but a pathological psycho.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not a liar. As matter of fact, I will turn myself into anything you want me to be, and that is what you are asking me, and you are asking for.

I will let you decide what you want. I will let you have your way. I will lead you up and down. I will let you know how I feel. I won’t hesitate to say anything toward you if that is what you want to hear. I will listen to you all day long, and give you a few words to hang in your head.

But here is one thing you have to remember about me. I do not feel pain. I rationalize the situation well and instantly for myself . Every moment you do something to me is the moment that you are trapped inside of my next scenario. You are still halfway through reading the entire book, wondering how this is going to end.  The good thing is that I do not even know either.

I am your what if.

You try to think: what if I like you, what If I dislike you, what if I betray you, what if you please me, what if you do that to me, what if I touch you, what if I look into your eyes, what if I am you’re best buddy, what if I disappear on you. All you can do is just guess what is behind the mask.

Sounds like I’m nobody until you see my real face behind a cute mask. Am I hypocritical? No I am not. Am I bad person? No I am not. Am I pretending? No I am not.

So, “who am I?” You will never know because I don’t even know.

You are dealing with what if. It’s exhausting but you can’t help it.

I’m your what-if.


Give it for those who provide beautiful pictures:

Daniele Levis Pelusi Lesly B. Juarez Markus Spiske

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