Me Time and Me Space: Loving yourself is the first step to loving others

Who are you? What do you want to do? Who do you want to be with? What encourages you? What are you pursuing? And what do you know about yourself?

I was sick in the morning when I finally got out of my bed. Regardless of what I felt, I went out of my house to the school I have been going for four years. I rode my scooter to the subway station. It was only 5:50am; everyone is still sleeping in their beds usually when I get on the subway. It was silent, but there were a lot of noises scattering around in my head. I was thinking about everything that had been stressing me out to the point I felt I just wanted to be alone.

It took me two and half hours to get to my university, but it was nothing hectic since I had been doing this for almost three years so far. When I arrived at my university, I immediately took my feet to a class room where I had to give the last presentation in my entire college life in 10 minutes.  I sat on the one of chairs randomly ordered in the room. I wasn’t thinking about the presentation, but thinking about something else.

As time ticked away, I was gradually feeling like throwing up and got a severe stomachache which I have never felt in my life or at least since I got into the University. Even with the sickness, I completed my 90 minutes presentation like nothing was wrong with me. Everyone in the room gave it up for me, and asked me questions related to the topic I delivered the speech about.

I went out to the bathroom right after the presentation, and I literally  said to the man in the mirror “Who are you?”.  It was me, but was not me. I did not feel that I was looking at myself, rather, I was looking at someone else I was not familiar with. My face was so pale, no smile, no nothing. On top of the weird feeling, my stomach flipped upside down intensely, and I threw up. In that, I went to see my doctor who told me that I was under too much stresses and I needed to take a break from everything I had to deal with.

Now that I think about it, I was under so much pressure, and having all the sorts of thoughts at the same time. I was thinking about school, my job, relationships, my passion, death of a loved one and more. If I had a dollar for every time I list thoughts I had in my head, I would have been a millionaire. Especially the relationship part had been the one of troubles constantly bothering me most of the days over the last 10 months.

I was loosing myself. I did not feel any confidence in myself whereas I used to have too much confidence in myself.

I was loosing myself to the obsessive thoughts and my characteristic of being strict and harsh on myself. Thus, I decided to be alone. I decided to be alone in my own world where nobody can possibly intervene with me or come bother me: “Me time and Me space“.

I stopped hanging out with anyone, cancelled all the appointments I had with others, and most importantly, even stopped communicating with my best buddy. However, this had to be done to heal myself and regain the confidence in myself I used to have. I needed to take care of myself first to take care of others well enough to make them feel good.

Speaking of relationships, I have been having obsessive thoughts and feelings about a girl, but I was trying to move on, shutting down all the communication means I could use to interact with her, and I gradually started to get myself back on the right track. I started to see girls I was interested in, and they were fantastically smart, full of compassion and beautiful, which I need the most for a girl in my life. Even with the thought, there was a feeling lingering up in my head  “I do not think I can love them the same way I loved the girl I am still having feelings for”. However, I was trying to move on and make some changes in my life by doing something I knew that was meaningless.

The day I went to the hospital to see my doctor, I had an appointment with a girl I had been seeing, but she cancelled it on me. It hurt, but in the same breath, it was good for me because deep down in the back of my mind, all the time I knew that she was not the one I truly wanted, but I was justifying to myself that she could be the one at the same time.  If she had come, I would have definitely kept lying to myself and her as well, and I was also feeling sorry for her in that I had been wasting her time just to hang out with me. It was not fair to her since I used her in order to kill my loneliness. That was a trigger of my canceling all the meetings I had with others. They asked me why, but I never replied to them…

I needed “Me time and Me space” to clear up my thoughts and define what I wanted to get in my life and what I wanted to accomplish. I needed to take care of myself first to take care of others better. I needed to love myself just like I used to do.

All the people on the earth are only human beings, in other words, even they say they are tough, they are not. We are all fragile and cannot bear extreme stresses and pressures from outside. It is better if you have someone who you can trust and who trusts you enough to support you throughout tough times, but that is not that case most of the time. We need time to love and take care of ourselves.

I finally faced my inner voice that had been telling me the exact the same thing  from the beginning of all the struggles up to now. When it comes to the point you ca not have any room for anything, all the opinions and perspectives others have to suggest you do not matter to you anymore.

And I also rekindled my passion to write articles which always help me to be relaxed and happy.

What I have learned through having “me time and space” is that I can not love more than two people at the same time, and even If do, it makes me sick to death. Furthermore, I noticed that time I have troubles with myself, I became weaker and weaker to the point where I can not have decent relationships not only with girls but also with my best friend. I believe that when those who are true to themselves and take care of themselves well finally meet one another, they will have a great relationship and truly respect each other without having any kind of fears or regrets.

I’m still in the healing process, but at least now I have been regaining what I need to complete myself, and start believing in myself again, and this is because I decided to talk to myself and take care of myself first despite the fact I have many people I would like to take care of first.

You need to love yourself in order to love others well, and it is your job to take care of yourself always.

 

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Take action and life will respond to it accordingly

It is crucial to know how our choices and actions impact our lives later in the future. Regardless of your age, when you look back at the past, occasionally we feel we came a long way in all respects. Numerous events have taken place that basically created who you are now. It can be very valuable to rethink about how important it is to take actions accordingly to make great impact on your life.

For example, my father, who 53 years old, works at a life insurance company, has been through many tough events in his lifetme. One time, I luckily had a conversation with him,  which usually does not happen at all since we rarely see each other due to the daily schedules we have. He told me that he had slept in and been late for his work, which would later have a great effect on my life, and that’s why he finally was determined to admit that he would like to quit his  job. And so, he told the president of the company. On that day, he had a meeting, which was one of the important chores he had to manage because of his position in the company. Day after the day, the president told him to gather employees and clean up the room for him by 8:30 am. My father woke up at 8:25am, which means he totally screwed it up. After the call he received from the president, he went to the office, but was told to go back home and also was told to come to a director’s meeting on the following day to discuss what had happened and how he felt about his work and if he still wanted to work there. Therefore, he went to the meeting surrounded by the board of directors with angry looks on their faces. At the end of the meeting, they drew the conclusion that my father would have 3 months to work for the company. In addition to that, they allowed him to be absent at the work place when he was interviewing for other positions.

I was only 15 years old then and I did not know what was going on with him since my parents had never told me about this issue. After a while, my father received a call from one of his old friends about a job opportunity at Gibraltar Life Insurance Company, which was a rare opportunity that only 30 out of 2,500 people would successfully obtain. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity since the company usually doesn’t hire that number of people at a time. Thus he applied to it and as luck would have it, he aced it.

In that period of time, the company had a program for full scholarships for young people around 15 to 16 years old to be exchange students in the U.S. to encourage them to see and feel the world. The company had already done this 3 times before in the previous 3 years, and it was the 4th and last time they actually gave scholarships. They stopped the program after I came back to Japan from the U.S for some reason, which I am not still quite sure of.

It was almost the deadline for the scholarship when my father started working for the company. One day, he came back home with a brochure for the program and told me to apply to it. It was definitely the once in a lifetime opportunity for me, but it sure was a long shot at the same time due to the number of students who would be able to actually win: only 12 people. I had never thought about going to study abroad at my age of 16, however, I thought it would be a great chance in that I would be able to enrich my life and develop my English skills. Thus, I did exactly what he told me to do. Like it or not, I was just another Japanese boy who went to an average high school, but my life changed 180 degrees when I was qualified to be an exchange student for the program.

It has been already 5 years since I first went to the United States as an exchange student, and I had another opportunity to be an exchange student at the University of South Florida last year. I am now writing articles in English, having great people around me from all over the world, having my own unique view of the world around me. I am proud of myself now. However, all the things that have happened to me can boil down to the time when my father slept in and was late for his work. If the timing was slightly different or if he hadn’t been late for his work, I would not have had the chance to be an exchange student, nor would the thought of studying abroad have ever crossed my mind. In other words, his being late for his work altered my life completely from that moment on.

It is for sure that he did not sleep in on that day deliberately and that he didn’t know that he had to quit his job to give his son better life later. The point gathered is that even such small action he took unconsciously had great impact on my life in long run. Who would have thought that I would be who I am just because of his being late for work? Nobody!

Then, what if you take an action consciously for yourself while you are wide-awake? Here is what happens:

6 months ago, I founded a website called “RedDeer International”, which is the platform for youth today to voice their interests from politics to travel to the world in the form of articles. I eagerly wanted to be a journalist without any doubt back then, but hadn’t had any experiences to help me become one. I needed something that would give me writing experience and also allow me to travel and see the world. So I created this website. The bottom line is that I took the action consciously and believed in myself that I would get something meaningful later in life if I stuck to it. Finally another opportunity came into my life: one of the editors of student journal Affairs Today today showed up out of the blue, looked at the articles I had written and gave me an opportunity to be a member of the company. This happened within 5 months, which was quicker than I thought it would take.

Whatever the actions you take consciously or unconsciously will always bring you something  in the future. The only difference between taking actions when you are conscious and unconscious is the time it will take to make something happen. If you are consciously taking actions for the purpose you have within yourself, then the moment you take the action will alter your life in the future much faster. This is like an old story your grandpa would always tell you, but it truly will happen.

For most of the time, people get scared and neglect to take actions since they are not sure what will happen later or when it will happen, but what you do everyday creates who you will be later in every respect. This is another way to get to have a successful life and live your dream, but why don’t you take a moment to rethink what actions you should take to get to the point where you would like to be down the road? Because if you do make the right choices, even if it is a small thing like sleeping in and being late, it could benefit you later. It might be better idea to pay attention to the moves you make in everything you do.

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How to avoid situations that make you mad

Honestly speaking, there is no way to avoid these situations, and they will come out of the blue and give you the punch boywonderhitting right into your face.

For instance, I thought I was going to receive a job offer right off the bat after starting job hunting in that I had a great background and experience most people have not been through before. I was pretty much stuck up and thought of it lightly, but the truth was a far cry from what I expected.

One time, this interviewer told me at the end of interview:

“I am sorry but I can’t give you a job offer since you do not take a hint and struggle to be modest. You are too confident and aggressive.”

It literally gave me a pause; I was dumbfound and did not know what to say in reply. It was the hardest moment I have ever had during job hunting when looking back. All the confidence running through in my veins evaporated instantly.

The mistake that I made was that I was expecting something from them. I was expecting them to say something nice and warm, and accept me without any doubts.

Expecting something is alright sometimes , but most of the time, it turns out to be no good at all in our lives. Why? Because the world we are living in is simply standing on sequences of unexpected events. It is not stable and there is nothing we can use to stabilize them.

When you expect something, you are not thinking about others and all the things around you but only you and your benefits.  Don’t try and refute this, you have to admit it. This isn’t bullshit. And you become a self-centered person. In this situation, when the worst case just falls into you, you basically go off like a bomb. In addition to that, after you go crazy, chances are that the situation will not get any better but will be steadily getting worse.

I am now telling you that everything is not going to go exactly as you wish unless you are God or Harry Potter… hold on, Harry Potter couldn’t even anticipate what was going to happen for most parts in the films.

Here is another example of expecting: When I was in high school, there was this beautiful girl and I was head over heels in love with her on first sight. As a luck would have it, we started to go out on dates. I was expecting her to love me back as I did her, but ironically it did not take place. My expectations just brought the relationship to an end at the end of the day.

She told me that she felt that I was putting her into where there was no way out for her to take a rest, and it was too much.

I texted her that it was not too much but I was simply showing how much I cared about her. She did not reply and was silent.   I learned some lessons from it. Thank you very much.

Another example is that I was expecting that I had done pretty good work on an exam and aced it. However when the teacher returned my paper back to me, it really rained on my parade. I got 40 out of 100 which was not my expectation, and of course, I picked a little quarreling fight with my teacher, pointing out what I was expecting to get. Afterwords, he had me standing in the hall right next to the class room due to my destruction of the atmosphere in the room.

Here is one more example: I was between jobs back in time when I was still in college.  I asked the former boss of mine at restaurant I used to work at for a job offer as a part time worker again. He, without missing a beat, said that he would willingly give me a job since he had known me for almost 4 years. I did not appreciate it; I took it for granted and asked him for 10 bucks per an hour due to my gut feeling that I was deserving this amount of money. He rejected the offer and did counter offer suggesting that I would get 9 bucks instead.  I am little bit of a short tempered guy compared to others to be honest, and it got to me.

Let’s get back to the main point of this article: “How to avoid situations that make you mad”. The reason you get mad is that things don’t work out in your favor.

The most efficient way to avoid these is to not expect anything in your life.  There is nothing you can have control over. There is nobody you can rule over. Everything happens for a reason but not in your favor. You have to have a self control telling yourself that you have to acknowledge everything taking place in your life without resisting against them.

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Is there something you can control? Yes there is. There is one thing you can control. What is it? It is “you”.  You the only one you can control in this world. You get what you deserve in this world if you are active and aware of your surroundings.

If you want to get your ex back, you cannot expect them to come back to you. You have to take control over yourself and change yourself in the first place to be attractive enough to make them feel like getting back together.

In the process of making efforts and putting yourself in the place where you want to be, you are going to gain the power to attract and touch people’s lives which makes it easier for you to expect something you want from them.

 

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Time to say good bye. Do something before you regret

As long as you live, there is always a time you can not avoid.

Time to say goodbye.

It is always hard to say goodbye to your lover, friends, and family, no matter whatever the situation is.

You look back the times you had great fun with them, feeling sorry for yourself having not seen them more than you should have. However the time to depart is gradually, but steadily coming as time progresses against your wish.

You regret looking back the time you did and said something to them, which might have hurt their feelings.

You kick yourself for all the things you could have done for those who cared about you, and those you care about, but you did not.

Such a life.

Tired of regretting.

Tired of being sorry.

You get misty-eyed.

You might have cried over them for a night.

You wish that time would stop for good.

You wish that you shouldn’t have met them in the first place.

However, it is time for you to get up your nerve and say goodbye to your peers.

The past can not be changed.

If there is still time, say “Thank you” to every last one of people who took care of you, who loved you, who had a great time with you,  and who will miss you.


My experience of Goodbye

My life is full of regrets. I do still remember the first day I felt so bittersweet and cried so hard wishing I would not have to break away from my beloved friends.

It was 14 years ago that I was 7 years-old and I had to move out of city I lived in for 3 years. Since my father had been working at a certain life insurance company that sent him around all across the country, I already had experiences of moving from one place to another, but I had never stayed at one place for so long.  Within 3 years, I went to a kindergarten for 2 years and elementary school for a year, which was enough time for me to make friends to hang out with and trust , and enough time to fall in love with a girl. On the last day, I walked around the park I had used to go to and played with my friends in vein. I met up with a girl there I had crushed on for the first time. I told her that I had to move out of the city, and I liked her so much. Now that I think about it,  it was a unique situation for a 7 year-old kid to step up to the plate and say “I like you so much” like a grown up man. She started sobbing, telling me that she also liked me. My heart jumped up in the sky like a space shuttle lunched into space, but at the same time, I had to face the reality that I could not see her anymore. It was a bitter pill to swallow. I also met a boy who I had used to hang out with a lot. He gave me a Pokemon Card shinning in the sun light, which is the card he had been proud of having because of its rarity. I would have never imagined that he was going to give that to me. He told me,

This card will keep us together

He and she ran as long as they could after our car when we left the city. It was the first time that I had ever kicked myself at the fact that I did not hang out with them more often.


     By the time I started to fit into a new school, there was another moving-out after staying for only 7 months in the school. I thought I was totally fine with it, and decided not to cry again, but it was still difficult for an 8 year-old kid.  A lot of my friends gathered and signed their names and addresses on a little book, which I still have in my house. There was a girl who wrote,

“I liked you since the day I met you, good bye”

As far as it went, she would always drop by my house a lot for whatever the reason she had, and that made me think that she might like me, but at the end of the day, I could not confess my feelings to her. Regret!!

I had a chance out of the blue to talk with her later when I was 20 years old. She told me that I held her hands always when she asked me to do so, and put her hands in my pockets to warm them up when it was cold.


When I moved out to another new place which I have lived in for almost 13 years , I had already gotten used to saying goodbye and moving on, unlike any other kids around me at that time. As a matter of fact, that was my 5th time of moving-out. I graduated from an elementary school and junior high school.

If I had to mention the most bitter goodbye I had during that period of time, I would have to say that it was the time I had to leave soccer club that I had been a part of for 3 years. For 3 years, my teammates and I had been together. We went through all the emotions you can think of: an emotion out of losing the game, winning the game, being scolded by a coach and social tension among members.

We were competing against other teams in a tournament we had for the last time in which winning games was the only way to continue our existence. We lost a game. After the game, some members were upset, and some were crying. I did not cry, but after getting back to my place, all the emotion I held back started busting out of my mouth. Just the thought of not being able to play soccer with them made me hopeless and miserable.


It came to my life all of a sudden that I got qualified to study abroad in Texas for a year when I was 16 years old. I flew to the U.S. in the hopes of learning English.

Do you know the things that make you cry when you have to say goodbye to people? As far as I know, there are two possibilities. The first possibility is simply because  you are sad at the fact that you have to leave and can not see your friends anymore unlike you used to. The other possibility is because you have to leave and you can not come back to the place you were totally accustomed to.

By the time I had to leave the U.S., I was absolutely done with goodbyes, but instead I was sad for leaving a place I was so familiar with. I went to the field on the last day of school, where I had used to practice soccer for school with teammates everyday after school. I cried a little.

I am not saying that I did not feel sad at the fact I had to leave everyone I met there behind, but simply I had already gotten used to it. And since I had already gotten used to it and learned lessons not to regret later on like I had a lot of times, I was not kicking myself about anything relating to relationships with people. I had a good time with them, and did everything I could do for them and myself.


And now here I am in Florida, about to leave for Japan.

To be honest, I do not regret anything since I did everything I could do for those people who have been taking care of and loving me so much. I hung out with everyone I listed up from the last time here in the U.S.

I tried to be honest to everyone and I was. When I promised something to someone, I kept promises except for the time I totally forgot since I was really on the go. I did not promise something I knew that I could not keep. I was a honest person I had ever been.

There was a time when I truly felt regret.

It is a time that I went back on a promise with others, and left their lives.

I feel fully satisfied now.

No regret.

My heart is as clear as a blue sky.

Ready to say goodbye.

I would like to say “Thank you” to those who always gave me a ride when I was in need, those who gave me time to enjoy moments together, to those who helped me with my studying when I was in need, and to those who gave me time in which I could relax and put myself at a distance from all the messes I was in.

Thank you all.


As I mentioned, time to say goodbye is always lurking around the Conner for whatever the reason is. It could be the death of your friends and family, the end of school or your company, and etc.

It always gives you a bitter feeling and might make you cry and kick yourself. All the “Should-have-done” thoughts comes into your mind at the same time.

I announced that I have already gotten used to it, but the truth is that it is still hard to say goodbye and leave with all the memories and times I shared.

Since I have been through all kinds of goodbyes, there is a friendly piece of advice that I can give you all:

Do not do something you might regret later. At every moment you meet someone (friend, family, etc), do not take them for granted, and try to care about them as much as you can no matter how bad the situation you are in is

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Think positive about your life especially in the time of trouble.

His country is in an emergency situation, which I have never been through and might never be: War. After discussing this with him and hearing how bad he thinks of his people’s livlihoods in his country, I reflected it back on my country, Japan. Japan has the highest rate of suicide among all the developed nations, and ranked in 9th in all the countries on earth.

Life: we have to appreciate it but for the most part we are taking for granted.

People kill themselves for verity reasons. According to KevinMD.comthere are main 6 reasons why people kill themselves

1.Depression

This is the most unquestionable reason why people kill themselves. The depression might come from peer pressures, financial issues, etc. When people have negative thoughts in their minds, they tend to think about it deeper than thinking about positive thoughts, which eventually causes them to harm themselves or take their own lives. Some might say that those who kill themselves are cowardly and weak, and that they should tough it out. They might be right. However, whatever the reason the depression comes from, people are different individually in how they perceive the problems they have. You really have to put yourself into their shoes before saying stuff like that. I have been depressed from time to time, and it is a normal thing, nothing special, to get depressed as a human being because we are capable of “thinking” unlike any other animals. The thought of committing suicide has never come across my mind before, but I had moments that I just want to vanish from this world because of all the issues I had, which  seems not to be solved.

2. Psychotic

Those who are Psychotic, like depression, may harm themselves, and on top of that is they have high susceptibility to their own inner voice. When they start thinking that they do not like themselves, they are not accepted by anyone and so forth, they will stick to the thought not matter what other people tell them. Speaking of myself, I partially belong to this category for better or worse. Because of this psychotic tendency, I look in on myself continuously, and once I find some defects in myself, I keep telling myself that I am not good AT ALL, but at the same time, I release all the negative thoughts by talking, sharing and setting goals high, desiring to archive the goals to change my weakness into strength.

3. Impulsiveness

There are types of people who kill themselves impulsively, which is often related to use of drugs and alcohol. When their brain gets malfunctioned, they become not to be able to think rationally. One thought just triggers and snaps their inner desire of  death into reality, just like you buy a candy bar when you see it on the shelf next to a resister while standing in a line. There is no time for them to think about their lives, about their family, friends or lovers, and most importantly, about the consequences caused by killing themselves. I used to drink alcohol, but not anymore since I realized that drinking simply made me do things I usually didn’t and thought less of what I did, like “Anything is possible!”. I always tell people

You should not drink when you are in a total mess, you should drink when you are fully satisfied with yourself

 4. No source for help

People are calling out for help in hopeless times. It is crucial if you can find someone to help you out when you are in need. People can not live without people. We always support each other even if you realize it or not. It is just human nature. Think about the world without people but yourself where there is no one to talk, love, hang out, drink, and work for. Whatever you do just turns into meaningless stuff, and you might say to yourself, “Why am I doing this? What am I doing this for?”. Whenever I have a trouble, I try to solve it by myself first, but eventually I ask someone for help to get the thing done. Even those people who you think are tough are not tough to some extent; they also can’t live without people around them. So having someone you can rely on is always primal in your life. Do not push yourself too hard, people are always there for you. Don’t be shamed when you ask someone for help because that is what they are there for. The help could be little chat to release your stress, could be condolence to take care of yourself mentally, or could be hanging out to enjoy the moment away from all the mess you are currently in. Relying on someone is not a weakness. This strikes those who do not have people to help them, as the most beautiful thing they really want badly, so keep in touch with people always ,and appreciate the fact that you have people to assist you in the time of trouble.

5. Philosophical desire to die

Some people make up their minds to die because of a terminal illness. This has been the bone of contention for many years. Some say it is against nature, and we have to live as long as possible. Well, who knows what is good and bad for them? If I had cancer and was told I would live no longer than a month, and I could not even breath by myself. I might choose to die.

6. Mistakes they have made

This became the recent phenomenon for younger generations. According to the writer of KEvinMD.com, he/she analyzed it and concluded that the only way to help them out is thorough education.


 A thing that these reasons share in common, except for number 3 and 5.

There is a thing you can not ignore when it comes to theses causes, and that is “Thinking too  negatively “.

To me, the only way out to live in the future without sacrificing one’s life is to stop thinking about all the messes and troubles one has.  I know for sure that everyone has their own problems, and when it goes too far, that is the time they decide to commit suicide. You can’t see any other options left in your life. It seems to be meaningless living in this world, to you.  And it is true.

When that time comes, why don’t you step back from the edge of a cliff, and start thinking about your situation positively and be optimistic about your life.

This is an example based on my experience.

I was struggling with looking for a job. I was thinking about my weaknesses instead of strengths.

“What if I got rejected because of my weakness? What if I can not overcome these problems because of my weakness? I need to get this job no matter what it takes.”

I had been telling myself that over and over again, but at the end of the day, I could not land the job.

I felt like crap and I was exhausted since I did everything I could do to manage to get a job. I felt that I was not useful  or meaningful to this world. Of course I got depressed, but there was a guy who always listened to me and reached his hand to me, no matter how bad the situations were. He always told me stories the most suitable to my situations. Along with him, I was fortunate enough to meet with a lot of wise people. And I was able to think about my life positively, really positively.  After being rejected, getting done with thinking, I had a great opportunity I would  have never thought would fall into my lap. I reflected back on the time I was rejected, and started thinking “Because of the failure and the time of trouble, I decided to do another thing and did it, and now I have this in my life!” I literally thanked all the people and things caused rough patches to me, which eventually led to the good thing.

You never know what is going to happen to you later in your life. It doesn’t matter if you feel miserable now, something will come to you later which you will be thankful to. You have to be positive especially in those time when you are miserable.

As I said I met a lot of people in their 40s-60s with diverse experiences. They knew a lot more about life than I did. Some of words they told me were impressive enough to shape my way of thinking now.

Here is the list of impressive words they said to me.

Give yourself time to be alone and look at your strength instead of weakness. You are the best Japanese man I ever known and you are wise and smart. There are a lot of things you can do, but you are focusing on one thing you can’t do, and it seems that you are  trying to destroy yourself

“Even if the time now is giving you a huge headache, there will be a time you can enjoy in the future and you will look back at the time you were struggling, and you will be able to laugh it off! You have to think about everything in long run!”

“When you are completely exhausted and destroyed, everything seems so meaningless and you feel empty in yourself, but as long as you live, there is always something in your way , which might change your life. “

“Act alive when you are alive”

“Don’t pull yourself too hard all the time. Even if you can not get something you want, just think positively about it. Things you want will come to you at the right time and place in your life, it is all about timing, just like your friends. Your friend did not come in your life just because you wished and tried, but  they came to you because it was the right time and place, and you enjoyed it in fact. The life is unique and full of unexpected events, nobody can guess. So don’t think about “now” too much”

“Human beings are really sensitive and susceptible to their own inner voices. It affects you for better or worse. So think positively. Human beings also have power to affect their thought into a real world. If you are positive, then positive thing will happen to you.”

“If you think you are at your lowest, then it is good, because you won’t get any lower than that”

“You will find something for you as long as you are alive”

For those people who are stuck in negative thoughts about your life, this video might help you find an answer. I watched 9 months ago and gave me a good opportunity to think about my life and step what I have to take when the time of trouble gets in my way.

This man is a professor at the Harvard Business School.

He says “Be a the best quitter” It is the best way to live your moment.

Thank you for reading, I hope this article will help those who are facing difficulties in their lives.

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Do not let the stain make you lose your edge in the time of trouble

It has been a rough patch for me. There has been a lot to think and worry about, which put me down into disappointment every now and then. Life is not that easy as everybody knows. You don’t get what you want even though you really wish so. You forget about all the journeys you had to get to the point where you are now, and just focus on a problem you have. This is exactly what I felt 2 days a go until I met this two guys who were 32 and 38 years old from Africa.

A guy, 38 years old, told me to do everything I want to do when I can do it. In fact, I am still young and a man of full of capability. This “Do what you want to do while you can” is the most common phrase you hear from almost every person who is in their 30s and 40s.

Since I had this confused mind, it was good to hear from a 38 year old man that I should do what I would like to do without hesitation before I realize it is too late.

As I mentioned, when I talk to people who are older than I am, without exception, they always tell me that I must follow my heart, it is better to give it a shot rather than wondering and thinking about “What if”. You never know what is going to happen to you because of the actions you take. It might end up making you feel sad or great. However, if you just hesitate to take an action wondering if you should do, and stay where you are, the chances are that nothing will change AT ALL. I am telling you that most grown up men are now kicking themselves because of choices they could have made but they did not because of the fear of whatever they had in them.

It could not be any better time for you to act on what old dogs say, now. 

You don’t want to be the same.

A chance will come to those who go for the chance.

Forget about the fear you have, just go for it.

Now let’s get to the main point. After talking to this 38 years old man, my mind were all cleared up like the sky without clouds! However, I still had one track mind. I was doubting  my ability, asking myself if I could get over this rough patch I had, even thought I had been telling myself I could on account of the experiences I had before. It has been almost a month since I came across this tough situation which I never had before. I focused on one bad thing about me, and almost was losing myself despite all the success I had before.

A man, 31 years old from Libya, told me a story about the stain.

The story goes like this: you are wearing white pants, and one day you drink a cup of coffee, and spit it over your pants which remains in the pants as a stain. You start thinking that the pants are no longer beautiful because of the satin despite the parts of the pants which are still white and beautiful. Just like this, human beings tend to forces on something bad even though they have done so many things successfully, even though there are so many things they can do, but just because of one thing which they are not good at or they can not, they start badmouthing, underestimating, running down themselves psychologically, which creates a bad circulation of how they think of  themselves. What he told me was

Of course there are things you can not do because you are not invincible ,and you will never be, but in the same breath, there are more things you are good at. Don’t focus on the satin, focus on the white part in the time of trouble

It reached to my heart and I was so touched. He is the man of wisdom.

He also gave me an example for the stain.

Let’s say, you have a best friend who you have been keeping touch with for many years, but one time, she/he tells you that “Don’t talk to me , just stay away”, and you get upset and insult him/her, forgetting all the journey that you have been through with him/her. Just because of the little tiny stain, you destroy your friendship with him/her.

We, human beings, tend to look at a shadow side and expand it , and make a big deal out of it more than we should, but when it comes to a bright side , we think a light of it even thought we have more upsides than downsides in ourselves.

Thus, whenever you find yourself in the situation where you are struggling with whatever it is, do not think about the stain, but think about the white part, always.

Don’t let the satin make you lose your confidence and disturb your path.

Image 11-22-14 at 2.15 AM

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#reddeerinternational #international #multicultural #globalsociety #culture #economy #politics #history #travel #career #entertainment #education #blog #religion #lifestyle #america #latinamerica #europe #africa #asia #pacific #middleeast #fumiyaakashika #bobucal